A new day

Each new day brings hope, beginning of better times.

Yeah right! It may be true for some but not for me. Every morning when I wake up, I dread that something new will go wrong. There hasn't been a single day in the past year when something has'nt go wrong, intentionally or unintentionally, that makes the rest of the day unbearable. And if by chance a day goes by quietly then it is even more dangerous as it only foretells that worst is yet to come and that dwindles any chance of relaxing. Yesterday was a quiet day and instead of being happy and relaxed, I was panicking because the silence means that something is lurking nearby but I cannot see it. And the feeling that something is going wrong but you don't know why and what so that you can at least try to stop it or minimize the effects, is a mental torture.

Life

I am beginning to wonder where my life is going. I never seem to have time for myself. It is always work, work and work and looking after the others. But who is going to look after me? I like work. In fact I like to keep myself busy instead of wasting time in front of TV or lounging around for no reason. But do I have to be busy doing things I don't want to do at that time or all the time? Why can't I do things that I like to do? Looks like that is happening for last couple of years. Sometimes I wish I could go back to SB. The one year I spent their was the best time I ever had. If it was not for some unavoidable reasons, I would have tried to stay back then but NO, I had to come back.

Life here was never my cup of tea, this I know from the day it dawned on us that from now on, there will be no more annual visits to PK since we are here permanently. There was lot of hue and cry but to no avail. How I was able to survive a decade only I know. Everyday was filled with complaining about things that are happening or not happening or why they are happening (not happening)

I have been observing the life style in this city these many years and it seems that the quality of life (not in terms of money) has gone down. People are happy by spending time in front of TV or eating out. In fact food has become an entertainment!!! I just cannot comprehend these things. There are better things to do in life than sleeping and eating all the time. But if I ever say this aloud I will be 'honoured' with terms like 'old-fashioned', 'crazy', 'out-of-touch', 'unaware of modern lifestyle' and others that I rather not write.

Surprise! Surprise!

It was 10:30 and I had just come from the class and there was a big surprise waiting for me. I wasn't even expecting it and yet it happened. Such surprises are always welcome and frequently if possible, but I guess that is too much to ask for. At least my weekend went well after so many months. Alas! the effect won't last long!